Choose Your Tribe Wisely

I read something recently that said “You are the average of the 5 people you spend the most time with.” If you really think about that, it makes sense. We as humans are perceptive, easily effected and persuaded by our environment. Yes, the way we perceive things is different. We all have opinions of our own but our beliefs about the world, ourselves and our close circle is all based on what we have been subjected to through out our lives. Alls a belief comes down to is the story we keep telling and the thoughts we keep thinking. The only power anything has in our lives is the power we give to it. What we watch, read, listen to or people we surround ourself with all have a part to play in our belief system.

Who are the people you spend the most time with? Are these people adding to your life or do they bring you down? Do they tend to talk about negative or positive aspects of situations? Do they have an attitude of lack or feelings of abundance? Are they showing gratitude or are they constantly complaining? If you are around the “Debbie Downer” most of the time, it can’t help but effect your mood. Does your friend or family member always seem to have some drama, ache, pain or ailment they struggle with? It’s hard not to get sucked into that. If you’re around someone who is always complaining about how broke they are, what they don’t have and is jealous of what others have, that is gonna rub off on you.

Obviously it’s your choice who you surround yourself with but wouldn’t you rather surround yourself with people that serve your life in a positive way? How ever positive you think you are these kinds of mindsets can absolutely suck the life out of you. Just like the saying goes “misery loves company.”

I made a decision a while back to really be picky about the type of content I subject myself to. I never watch or read the news. I unfollow “Negative Nelly’s” on social media. I am really picky about who I hang out with and I refuse to feed into anything that is going to send me down the rabbit hole of negativity. I’m not saying I never have a negative thought or say things that come out before I filter it, but I’m trying every moment to look at positive aspects of every situation.

Recently my husband was talking to me and mentioned he was a little stressed because one of his old bosses called to see if he was available to work the entire summer. He has already committed to another job so he said no but was totally second guessing his decisions relating to his career. I literally just looked at him and said “It must suck to be wanted! It must really suck to have contractors fighting over you! You must hate having your hard work recognized! You are abundant and prosperous and you have endless opportunity! Look at what’s good not what you view as an obstacle!” He was like “SHIT” and just blankly looked at me like mic drop.

In my line of work I come into contact with all walks of life. Each of my clients are amazing souls and I am grateful for every last person that has sat in my chairs. That being said people sometimes treat me like their therapist. I get people in my chair that no matter what I say to try and shift their view on something they are stuck in that negative mindset. That’s ok, because we only hear things from our level of receiving it in that moment. But once in a while I will get someone who is open to hear a different perspective and that always makes them feel better.

It took me a lot of practice to not lower my vibe to theirs in that moment of “poor me” but I have for the most part mastered it. The best way is to not feed into it. Give your opinion if asked without making it personal. If someone isn’t ready to hear what your opinion is accept that and move on. Your not gonna be everyone’s cup of tea, nor would you want to be. Accepting who you are and being your own cup of tea is all that really matters.

I have noticed in my life that people that live from the ego mindset tend to surround themselves with people less successful then them. This makes them feel superior. Their friends make a little less money, maybe not as smart, have less then them all around and always tells them what they want to hear. This is what makes them feel good about themselves. This also keeps them right where they are or worsens their situation.

I alway feel like if my friends are real they will build me up but also call me out. If I’m acting from an ego mindset I want to know. We all do it sometimes. It is human nature. I don’t want my friends to sugarcoat if they think I’m being an asshole. If I ask them for an option, I want the truth. It is a balance of cheerleader/truth teller even if the truth may hurt. That is my idea of a real friend.

Looking around your close circle what do you see? Are the people around you happy? Aligned? Grounded? Grateful? Is your tribe successful in their purpose? Do your close knit friends cheer each other on or is it based on jealousy and who has more?

When I see one of my friends succeed or get something that I strive to have I feel so happy for them. Jealousy it so toxic. To congratulate and truly get excited for someone else’s achievement is one of the fastest ways for it to manifest into your experience. The fact that your even noticing that it is in someone else’s life means that you are in the same energy field as that experience so it’s your choice what to do with it from there. Are you around people expanding their lives or is your circle stagnant, unmotivated and holding you back?

I started a long time ago figure this out and I have cut ties with friend and yes, even family who’s presence in my life no longer served me. It’s not in a hateful or negative way. I’m just caring about myself and my energy more then keeping people around that bring me down.

In no way am I saying to go out and break up with all of your besties. I’m just saying care about the people you surround yourself with, the content you watch, the stuff you read and the places you find yourself. If it’s not adding anything positive to your life why would you want it around you? If someone in your life is putting down your ideas, not celebrating your accomplishments or supporting your growth, why in the hell would you want them in your life anyway?

The reason people do this is because your success or ideas force them to look at their own life. If they aren’t ready to face their own insecurities they will try to knock you down to feel better or ignore their own “stuff.” Remember that you are the average of the 5 people you spend the most time with, but no matter what you are a beautiful soul!

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