March!! My favorite month of the year!! NOT!! It’s long, it’s cold, the weather is unpredictable and by now we have all had enough of winter. In honor of March I wanted to write about gratitude. Practicing appreciation can be difficult. We are so groomed to look at the lack of things we want in our lives that we don’t always take the time to really show and feel appreciation for what we already have. We should be waking up in the morning starting our day giving thanks. Noticing the things and the moments around us that we can be grateful for throughout the day and go to bed with the knowing that we are exactly where we are supposed to be and appreciating the good and the bad. It’s not happy people who are grateful, it’s grateful people who are happy.
I get it. You might be thinking. “Yeah, yeah I know what she is gonna say. Make gratitude lists everyday, somebody always has it worse, there is always a silver lining.” While this is all true if it doesn’t call to you don’t do it. I do make gratitude lists. Not everyday, but I think it can help for some. I feel like there is always something to appreciate. I’m not talking the obvious like the roof over our head, our health, the car we drive or our job. These things are certainly major things to be grateful for. I’m talking the smell of that candle or fresh cut grass, the sound of that belly laugh from your child in the other room, the taste of your coffee made just right, the feeling of your soft pj’s or your bed at night. You get my point. It’s little moments that make up an entire lifetime so if we could enjoy and appreciate the journey instead of always wanting the next big thing we would not only get to that next big thing quicker but we would be having a blast along the way.
Easier said then done you say? If I didn’t have bad luck I wouldn’t have any luck at all you say? I do appreciate what I have but somethings gotta give you say? Well my belief system does not believe in luck. I believe we create our own reality. I believe strongly in the law of attraction. There are no coincidences. Nothing comes into our experience that our energy is not a vibrational match to. If you’re focusing on the things you don’t have or the action you need to take to fight against what you don’t want you’re just gonna get more of it into your experience. Remember, like attracts like. This is the hardest thing in the world to practice. If you really think about it the war against anything has never been won. The war against drugs, teen pregnancy, violence, guns etc. has not gone away or been won. This is because of the amount of attention given to it. The universe does not know the difference between yes and no. I believe it just gives you more of what you focus on. We are so programmed to take action. We obsess over our problems. We feel sorry for ourselves and judge ourselves for not being able to figure it all out or be where we think we should be. We keep telling the same stories about what went wrong. I’m gonna suggest something a bit radical. How about we take these difficulties and give thanks for them? Yes, appreciate them. If we are having contrast in our life it is making it clear to us exactly what we don’t want and in turn we become clear on what we do want. Then we can completely focus on what we do want and the universe is always on our side to get us there. It’s our resistance to allow it in that is holding us back. We are pushing against ourselves. We are blocking well being from coming into our own experience. This my sound totally crazy to you. Even if it is, doesn’t it feel better then dwelling? In the end everything we do or want is because we believe we will feel better in the having of it. What if we try feeling better first then maybe, just maybe we would find that we don’t need the things we thought we did or they will come to us easier because we aren’t so focused on not having them.
There are some examples of contrast I have had in my life that I can truly say now that I am grateful for. If you think about upsetting situations in your life that at the time seemed so horrible but now looking back they were blessings you understand what I’m saying. I remember my first job doing hair. My boss at the time taught me so much about what I know in the hair industry. I gained a ton of experience at that job. The difficulty was the paychecks weren’t clearing. 5 in 1 year. At the time I was so angry. I gave my notice and decided to go out on my own as a booth renter without knowing if any of my clients would follow. It was a huge risk but here I am 15 years later with a full book of clients and still on my own as an independent stylist. I send thanks to that first boss of mine for without that experience I would have never known if I could work for myself or have the flexibility in my job that I do.
Another example is about a year and a half after I had my son I became pregnant with my 2nd child but had a miscarriage at 9 weeks along. As you can imagine this was one of the most painful experiences I have ever had. We were absolutely devastated. We only planned on having 2 children. This forced me to question whether I even wanted to go through pregnancy again. Fear of it happening another time was just excruciating. Another year passed and we decided to try again and I became pregnant with my daughter. Of course I was a bit nervous but in that year I learned the statistics. 15 to 20 percent of pregnancy’s end in miscarriage. I know it’s shocking! I learned that I wasn’t alone because once I started talking about it so many woman opened up to me about their similar experiences. Even though this seems like something that is strange to be grateful for, I really am. It taught me to mourn since I never before then had lost anyone close to me. It showed me how fortunate I really am for the son I already had. It gave me more compassion for the women that this has happened to multiple time without success of any children. Most of all it gave me Lyla and with out the miscarriage she wouldn’t be here, hence only having 2. Not that the other child wouldn’t have been amazing, but I couldn’t imagine my life without my crazy, amazing, beautiful girl!
In present days I am having difficulty as well with different things. Including extended family issues, trying to figure out how to create balance within my relationship, parenting, friendships, work and self care, all the while staying grounded in my beliefs and practicing what I preach. It’s easy to write it all down, know in my head what I believe but can I walk the talk? I’m getting better at it everyday, not perfect but growing. That will never stop. I know in this moment that although some of the things going on in my present life are obstacles, I also know they are all here serving me. They are here for a reason and even though I may not know what those are right now I know as long as I stay true to myself and focus on positive aspects they will all work out.
I think a lot of times we do things that we don’t necessarily want to do or enjoy doing. We do these things cause we feel obligated. Yes you have to go to work even if you don’t like your job in order to make money to live. But do you have to hate it or be miserable about it? What aspects about it can you be appreciative about? Is there anything you enjoy about your work? Is any of it rewarding in anyway? Do you at least get paid so you can support yourself? Take that one positive thing and for a while just focus on that and see what happens. See how your prospective changes. I promise you it will and your more likely to receive better opportunities along the way cause your operating at a higher energy vibration. This goes for anything and everything you may dread doing but may feel obligated to do. Like for me house work is my nemesis, it is never ending and I have the hardest time finding the energy to do it. What I try to do is make it fun. Say I’m tackling the bathroom. I blast music or a podcast. I focus on how good it’s going to look when it’s done. I kind of act like a kid and make it a game. Die germs die!!! How fast can I get this done. I give myself a time limit and see if I can beat it. I know it sounds so stupid but it gets me through the obligation with a smile most of the time.
Appreciation is the the highest of emotional vibrations alongside elation, joy and passion. When our energy is vibrating at a high rate we are attracting other things into our experience to match that. When your vibration is on the lower side we are attracting other low vibrating energy. Like attracts like. The universe is responding to our vibration. Everything really is just energy. The law of attraction is as consistent as the law of gravity. I know it may seem out there but this is what I believe to my core. I have been studying the law of attraction for over a year now and nothing in my experience has proved it to be any other way. Show gratitude for where you are in every area of your life and watch how the universe responds. Not only that, watch how your mood and attitude changes. Where you are is perfect, exactly where you are meant to be. The universe does not make mistakes. You are perfect, you are a beautiful soul.